At one point, gamers were graced with Bomberman: Act Zero. The game quickly fell through the ranks and became labeled with the dubious title of “worst game on the Xbox 360” Then, Midway challenged that title with the truly awful Hour of Victory. Now, a new challenger has arrived, this time from publisher Greenwave. That game is Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm.
It’s hard to imagine what was going through the minds of the suits at the Discovery Channel. Their hit TV series follows crab fishers in one of the more dangerous jobs on the planet. It’s engaging TV, but to turn this into anything remotely resembling an exciting video game is all but impossible.
Taking almost all of the thrilling aspects that are featured in the show and tossing them to the wayside, Alaskan Storm becomes a strategy title. Players are tasked with fishing for crabs, unsurprisingly in Alaska, managing their money, hiring a crew, and trying not to destroy the boat. It’s not deep enough to satisfy true strategy die-hards, and too complex to grab the more leisurely oriented console crowd.
All of the fun stuff, including fixing the engines, setting traps, and performing medical related things, are left to the awful looking character models aboard your ship. You’re left to nothing more than a few commands, dull text menus, and steering. You’ll never leave the cabin (and search that in first person view through the extras menu for the most abysmally modeled Xbox’s you’ll ever see).
Recalling the worst the Sega CD ever offered, tiny windowed video constantly interrupts the play sessions during the missions, many of them unjustifiable. Even the unexciting clips from the show that are slowly unlocked as you play are stuck inside a small window less than 20% of the screen. This adds to the already choppy nature of the game thanks to the constant stoppages due to loading and a frame rate rougher than the water you’re sailing in.
Alsakan Storm’s exciting mission structure lets player partake in such thrilling activities like waiting for boats to pass before proceeding, or struggling to align your boat with a dropped trap so the AI will realize it’s there. The hilariously out of place music only adds to the comedic factor as the deep, Hollywood like theme from the show plays as you dock. The Bon Jovi theme that greets players upon entering the menu, though, may be the best thing the game has going for it. That’s not saying much.
Missions that actually do offer some mild amusement, such as taking the role of the Coast Guard or trying to outwit adverse weather, still fall flat. The general failings of the title (frame rate, sluggish pacing) still creep in to ruin the limited fun.
Full Xbox Live multiplayer is a surprise. Eight players can tackle a season, trying to snag as much crab as possible. The player who earns the most profit is declared the winner. There’s a significant time commitment to each game however, and unless you have (at the minimum) four players, there’s not much competition or strategy needed. A few mini-games are the only other gameplay selection available, and these are easily passed by.
Deadliest Catch feels like cheap PC shovelware meant for the shelves at Wal-Mart with a $10 price tag slapped on it. Instead, consumers are being asked to spend $60 on this absolute disaster and this could one of the worst crimes the gaming industry will see this year. One can only hope die-hard fans of the show will know better than to be suckered into this.
Tags: alaskan storm, anwar alaska, deadliest catch, discovery channel, map of anwar alaska, oil drilling in anwar alaska, xbox 360 walk through, xbox 360 walk throughs
